Flowers for Dummies: A New Guide

Having decided to embark on the ruinous foray into bankruptcy known as the Formal Garden, I have recently fumbled my way into the world of flowers and flower bulbs, a topic about which I knew absolutely nothing a week ago.

The wiki, while filled with lots of information on individual components of the flower growing process, did not have an a basic step-by step guide that began with the question “Mummy, where do flowers come from?”

The short answer is: rotten fish. Lots and lots and lots of stinky, rotten fish. The long answer involves converting that fish to fertilizer; converting that fertilizer to the right kinds of fertilizer; an optimised schedule for fertilization that would be the envy of any military general; and pondering the finer points of Botanist’s Touch and whether you really need to breed 5000 beetles or can get away with just dropping some bulbs on the ground.

If all of this is a mystery to you, that’s OK because it was a total mystery to me as well. For this reason I have just added Flowers for Dummies to the wiki, a companion to the previously added Cooking for Dummies. (Beetles for Dummies is probably next.)

Flowers for Dummies is dedicated to my guild-mate Dawner, who finally didn’t know something she needed to know. Many thanks to brucette and Robby for proof-reading, fact checking and advice.

As always, feedback and corrections are always welcome!


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